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2014-06-07 - Deadpool and Dragons
When we last left our intrepid hero, he was driving a commandeered Popemobile through Summer Set, a giant tail having been clipped onto the end of said Mobile as it went at semi-breakneck speeds. Deadpool, wearing a Popehat, was zooming said mobile at high speeds, "I'm Superman driving the Pussy Wagon!" Man this was an egregrious setup even by our standards. "MY PARRRENNTTSS ARREEE DEAADDD!" Cassandra Cain almost learns a few new swear words as this happens nearby. What the holy potato is that? She has to figure out what to do about this one. Some random guy speeding through town nearly killing peoples. She swings down on her grapple, following the car as she tries to catch up enough to take it out. Oh lord, this guy again. Superboy was on a more covert visit, at least at first, but the cry leads Kon into an alleyway to quickly change and take to the skies, heading for the car, but trying to keep a relatively low profile. You know, for a primary colored jump suited superhuman. Logan was trailing the mysterious death girl he had met some time earlier when of all things the popemobile comes bombing down the street. "Logan lets out a deep exasperated sigh. "Wade.... god dammit wade." Logan was trailing the mysterious mute girl he had met some time earlier when of all things the popemobile comes bombing down the street. "Logan lets out a deep exasperated sigh. "Wade.... god dammit wade." Zipping along at high speed (relative to the normal traffic rate in Gotham), Wade screeched to a halt over at a red light, "Sunnuva.. RESPECT THE SUPERPOPE BEFORE HE MARRIES JIMMY TO GORILLAS AND DOOMS YOU ALL!" Honking the horn. The night seems a little brighter than normal as the chase scene continues. Wade stopping at a red light just makes Cassandra overshoot, having no clue in hades what he's planning which is really throwing off her judgement. She swings past his front windshield kind of like comic relief, which is not her usual role as she bites her lower lip and pulls out a batarang. Superboy flies past Logan, a weird, hamster-like 'You too?' audible as he blurs past at high speed, angling down to follow the... how the hell did he get the Popemobile? With a Cassandra on his front hood, Deadpool honks the horn, "Man, they weren't kidding when they said the weather had a chance for expendable jailbait sidekicks today were they." Looking over at no one in particular. And he got it on Craigslist. Black Bat pulls back her arm, feet braced on the front windshield of the Popemobile and whips the batarang out and around to take out wheels as a strange sound starts in the air. A whipping, screaming noise that howls as the night gets brighter, and suddenly the instant the batarang hits the tire there's also a massive explosion as a tiny meteor impacts the ground nearby, rocking the car on its wheels and shaking the nearby city! Scraping Cassandra off the window as well and she ends up knocked through the air by the concussion. Logan books it into a full run to try to catch up to the speeding vehicle "WADE WHAT THE FLAMING HELL ARE YOU DOING!" Logan manages to catch up as the swerving car hits a corner Logan attempts to jump on to it as it passes. "God dammit Wade why is it every time I see you you are in the middle of some crazy shit?!" Superboy puts on some speed then, and catches Blackbat before she can land too hard, bright blue eyes already scanning the skies for other signs of meteors, only half-looking for a place to set Blackbat down. The meteor goes through the front end of the DeadPopeMobile and Wade curses, Pope Hat aflame, "Dammit I haven't even paid the first mortgage on this thing!" Shaking his fist, "Oh hey Logan I ihaven't seen you since the My LIttle Ponygirl incident. How did you get rid of the stirrup marks?" Cassandra Cain shakes her head to clear the grogginess, wondering how exactly her batarang caused an explosion and not quite caught up on reality yet. She holds onto Kon-El in the air, giving him a squeeze when she recognizes him. She looks around from their vantage point trying to identify the new situation. The new situation is, actually, pretty simple. There's a small crater where the car was, and the Popemobile may not drive again any time soon without some major reconstructive mechanic work. The crater isn't glowing, it's more a matter of smoke and debris at this point so soon after the impact. Logan clothes tattered and charred and torn up body healing sits up. "What the fuck!" "What the flaming hell happened here? Is everyone ok We need to check on the bystanders" Logan says looking around rattled. Superboy gives Blackbat a pat on the back as he sets her down, and starts scanning the crowd to check on bystanders, still taking regular glances upwards, seeing if any more are coming. "And me without my communicator," he remarks quietly. "How's crazy?" Deadpool shakes his fist, "Holy Venom Origin Batman!" Getting up and out of the stuck Popemobile, "And what's it with you and random crowd members sideburn boy? Thinking some of them might be your ex's? Are we going to have you monologuing like the Claremont era?" "Because unlike you wade i have some human decency! A flaming space just hit a crowded city block!" Logan snapped at Wade and still was shaking off the impact. Logan has half a mind to got at wade right now claws out but he has to make sure someone survived this first. Cassandra Cain drops to the ground at a run, low to the earth and checking out the area. She isn't really getting much from Deadpool and notices Wolverine having found her again. Not an issue, she's not planning on duking it out with them. She looks for wounded pedestrians and notices that there are a few, and moves to get them to safety where possible. Deadpool glares at Logan, "Hey, I'll develop human decency when *you* regularly bathe. Deal?" Up above, high enough that you'd need enhanced vision to see it, a piece of a cloud breaks off and starts moving downward. A glint of light from there, and the sky brightens a little bit and that same strange sound starts but at this point too low to hear with normal ears. "Careful moving the wounded," he warns Blackbat, and then takes to the sky to get a better look around, hovering at about rooftop level now. Then, almost a mile up, he hears the sound, and looks up, focusing. "See to the wounded," he shouts, and rockets up to get a better look. Cassandra Cain gets pressure on someone's wounds, a wadded up shirt to save a life, and gets a nearby person in shock to put the pressure on the wound so that she can go to the next person. She doesn't talk, but when you GRAB someone's hand and put it someplace they get the picture. She pressure-point knocks out a few people who are panicking and rolls her eyes at them as she deals with the mundane issues of a meteor impact in town. Hurt people. As Kon approaches, a second meteor becomes visible coming from the cloud. The people below won't see it until too late, and it's moving fast aimed at Wade. Or at least it's going for Wade. Where it's aimed depends on how good a shot the shooter might be. Not knowing what Deadpool, or even really Logan, is capable of, Superboy does what a Superboy does, and flies into the path of the meteor, shattering it into dust with a punch, then gaining altitude, heading for the cloud at speed, breaking the sound barrier on the way. As the meteor screams through the air, Wade does what comes naturally - try and use Logan as a human shield, "Logan, I'm sorry but you're gonig to haev to take it like you're Quebec." Of course, hte point is moot with Kon-El saving the day, but Wade is still trying to yank Logan to hide behind. With a snikt Lohgan's claws are exposed as he whips around and stabs and slashes at Wade to get himself free and then quickly moves towards a safer spot. A near buy subway stop. "My bones are unbreakable and i can heal up but still I ain't taking a hit for you wade!" Cassandra Cain helps people with their first aid needs, surprised that only a moment has passed since the first impact. There's no sirens yet, there just hasn't been time for the forces to react to anything like this. She's looking around for people who can be saved and for people who just need a good hard slap and delivering both when needed. She slaps one man right across the face for no apparent reason at all; he wasn't even hurt or shocky. Just walks up and slaps him. On the cloud is a dragon. Yes, a dragon. It's blue, long and thin, obviously an asian descent or mythos with the distinctive body shape and head. Blue, and watching Kon-El as he approaches. Superboy stops, and blinks. "Okay..." he says, and piles on the speed. He's not trying to tackle it outright, but more to herd it away from downtown gotham. However, he's not super good at this, and doesn't consider that 'down' is an equally good direction to dodge as 'east.' And Logan's flailing over with claws hacks off Deadpool's arm, "Noo, stumpy, he was my favorite limb!" Not anymore! "Stupid monologue. Very well." Deadpool went to pick up his hacked off limb with his other limb, hacked off limb starting to grow back. Then, in the middle of the melee, he went to take out a sock that he put over the hand. "I will hug him avne love him and call him Georgeiepuff and use him as an improvised melee weapon!" Logan starts trying to herd people still in the aera into the subway "everyone get underground and get away from here now come on!" The dragon rides the cloud downward until it dissipates naturally, then flies like a long, amazingly long flying snake with legs and the ability to spew fireballs. It'd be visible below by now, a vision upon the sky as it approaches the earth, never touching down. No, it does not touch down to the earth, ever. And a batarang bounces off the dragon's head at that moment, flung from a very pissy first aider who's not happy with the side effects of the dragon's first shot. She looks pretty annoyed, trying to get the dragon's attention with a snarl on her asian face. Kon chases after the dragon, and shouts out, surprisingly loudly. "SUBWAY, NOW!" Okay, the dragon did /not/ follow him here, Batman can not pin this on him, he'll just have to thank him for dealing with Trogdor here. He grabs the dragon, trying to use his teke to wrestle the dragon higher into the air, but it's just too big, and too strong, for him to get a good telekinetic grip on more than the tail of the thing, which seems to just annoy it more than anything else. First thing that comes to Deadpool's disjointed minds, "Logan! We're going to need you to assume the position and cover yourself over in ketchup while we launch you into the air and the thing decides to snack on you for you are the most deliscious. If it's like a traditional dragon we'll need to put you in a Disney Princess outfit as well." Deadpool then goes to yank out an RPG that he.. Clearly did not have on him over before, lining up the rocket over with the dragon and then firing. "It's been too long without you pretty fires and explosions!" Why? It's been a few seconds since the last meteor hit. "Fine, caused by me!" You set the Popemobile on fire like three or four minutes ago. "I HAVE A SHORT ATTENTION SPAN!" The dragon lands and Logan quickly starts looking for how to handle the situation. Logan's patience is at absolute zero. He punches wade in the mouth. "you get eated by that thing Bub, I've got a better idea. Logan runs into a near by building. Once inside he starts quickly making his way up stairs to the roof. He appears on the roof still unnoticed by the dragon and can possibly jump on it from there. Logan and Kon's work to get people into the subway does have an effect. More of one once the dragon is visible in the sky over Gotham, as people turn and run where the Heroes direct them. This is Gotham, they're well trained panicked civilians. I think it's Batman's fault, he puts something in the water. The dragon doesn't seem too horribly affected by Kon's telekinesis and decides to bite, its teeth actually NOT breaking on Kon's skin. It does keep getting lower though, never touching the ground. It does not land, but it's close enough to hit. (Note, air dragon, isn't landing.) Black Bat is really glad she can't understand a damn thing that Deadpool is saying. She keeps getting this impression that there's another conversation going on in the guy's head that makes her head hurt when she looks at him, so she keeps her eyes on the freaking dragon as the rocket launcher 'distracts' it and Logan moves to jump. Now that you can see it closer, you realize that it's not very thick around. A person could conceivably wrap their arms around the dragon's waist, it's just very very long. Wolverine claws out with a running start and a battle cry leaps from the roof on to the serpantine like dragon trying to lang close to it's head to prevent it wiping around and eating him. Logan lands on the dragon somewhat above the forelimbs. He stabs into the neck with one hand to stablize his grip and with the other starts to slash and stab at where he hops it's spine is located. Superboy braces for impact at the bite, but is glad to see that it doesn't pierce his skin. He considers something for a brief moment, but starts pounding on the dragon's tail, trying to keep it focused on the generally more invulnerable of the group below. "Glad you could join us," he says to Logan. "Let's try and get it over the bay. Gotham tends not to have to deal with the major property damage stuff," he explains, and moves further up the dragon's body, continuing to try and steer it. At this point, a giant dragon having been gonig through Gotham has gotten attnetion from others. And coming out of the crowd is a rather fraily looking man wearing atypical Hydra gear, "Cut off one head and.." Looking up and seeing a Dragon, Bob, Agent of Hydra, goes, "CRAP!" Going to hide behind a pole, Bob begins chanting, "If you're behind a body they can't see you if they're behind a body they can't see you.." Deadpool pauses, "Look, it's everyone's favorite disposable minion and all around stooge Bob, Agent of Hydra!" Have you even /met/ him in this continuity yet? He's not listed on your +sheet! "So? I can hit up a staffer for the okay and they'll be like 'what the heck are yo uon Wade, shrug and let me'!" Yay for hitting up someone not remotel yinvolved in the scene for the go ahead!" Striding confidently towards Bob whlie the real heroes valiantly fought the dragon and prevented property damage, "Hey Bob!" Bob wailed, "oh god, don't let me be eaten! I don't want to be eaten Mister Deadpool!" "Don't worry Bob, that's exactly what we're going to have you do!" FOrcibly putting Bob in a Disney PRincess dress. "Now make like a disposable person!" The dragon is steered a little, but not much. It's skin when torn bleeds gas instead of liquid, white-hot blue gas that comes out wherever Logan's blades slice. The places where he cuts sink a little, as if the hot gaseous blood keeps it in the air. The dragon itself is immensely strong, but Superboy is capable of handling it. Barely. Didn't seem to like the RPG round either, as it got hit in the face earlier. It's not leaving though. The tip of the tail accidentally slices both Deadpool and his minion, giving them minor flesh wounds which probably would kill anyone else. Cassandra cricks her neck, then pauses and stands at attention. She looks up at the dragon and puts her right fist, fingers slightly open, into her left palm and bows to the dragon in her Dragon Style proper respectful bow, deep enough to denote respect for an elder. Which makes the dragon glance in her direction at least. "Steer it?! STEER IT?! BUB I'M TRYING TO KILL IT!" Logan yells still hanging on and trying to serve the dragon's spine with his admantium claws. "gah dang that is noxtious it reeks" Logan says wincing at the hot gas and gagging at it's smell. He Even vomits some but he continues trying to force himself through it. Like a scene from Moby dick Logan stabbed and slashed at the massive dragon with the same hellish wrath with which Ahab stabbed at the whale. Logan growled and grunted like a beast as he did trying with all his might to fell the massive beast. "There's kind of people below us," Superboy points out, looking a bit confused by the sagging. He gets under the dragon, managing to carry a bit more of it's weight this way, stopping it from ever fully setting down on the street below, seeming to fully intend to just dump it in the harbor. He looks up then, and, on a hunch, starts to X-ray, seeing just what this thing's made of, or if he can aim Logan at something a bit more vital. At this point, Bob, Agent of Hydra, is dressed as a very non-pretty princess. Letting out a scream as the dragon slices, "HIT THE DIRT!" He manages to hide behind Deadpool right as Wade was dismembered. Wade let out a squawk, "Oh the humanity!" You have non, goofus, you're a MUX character. "Shuddup we're not allowed to be that meta! And farewell to arms.." Now left as a torso, Wade lookeda t his scattered dismembered bits.. "And arms.. And legs.. And digestive tract.." Kon-El's X-ray vision reveals that the dragon isn't really made of anything. It's just...there. A bag of air. His vision isn't blocked, he can see inside quite easily. There's just nothing to see. The slices from Logan's slashing make it sag toward the earth more, like a zeppelin losing air. Then suddenly the very tip of one teensy part of the dragon actually touches the earth for the very first time and with a hiss the dragon just vanishes, dropping it's riders. There's a sound like a balloon popping and it's gone in a wave of bad smelling air. Cassandra Cain never got a chance to even engage the beast. She feels a little let down by that actually, having watched until it got near the earth. Pouts. "The... heck?" Superboy wonders, hovering. "Well, that's something to ask the league about," he says, frowning. "Magic?" he wonders. Logan fits the ground landing on his feet. "ok I'm not coming back to gotham crazy shit happens here." The upper torso of Deadpool tries to.. Wriggle away from the having vanished Stooge that he had been skewered by, "Hey, Bat-Babe!" Probably a new one for Cass. Cassandra Cain looks at what's happening and overall isn't really sure what the hell's going on. At least the dragon's gone. Wherever it came from, it never really said what it was on about. She kind of stands there looking vaguely useless. The torso of Wade looks over at Black Bat, "yo, Bat Babe! Uhm, little help here?" While Wade could heal, this level of damage would take a bit. "And you are inredibly hot to me right about now." Being the only female'ish looking thing now that Bob wasn't there and Logan wasn't in a dress. His body language was.. Insane. To a point. Almost like Joker's, if not as bad, and more.. Cartoony. There's a crack of lightning from the cloudy sky, and the silhouette of the dragon is in the sky over you all again. Just a black silhouette, but this time there's a voice. It says, "Judgement," in a voice that rings through all of your heads. The dragon silhouette is moving, a pattern of snakes in the sky. "Kon-El. Live. You are not living this way." What it means is, again, anyone's guess. "Logan. Breathe. You have accepted anger as your way, we approve." The eyes look Logan over, narrowing, and bows slightly at the two of them. The dragon bows to the two who fought it. The eyes look to the bits of Deadpool below and the dragon's shape says, "Wade. Grow up. We are amused, but tire." And then it vanishes, not mentioning Cassandra at all. Which leaves her spreading her hands wondering what she did to get left out. If he had a fist, Wade would shake it. "Hey, I'm only what the writers make me! It's not like I'm in charge of my actions or anything!" And there was a prescient vein of -truth- in his madness. At least before the next exchange. Superboy blinks at that. "Okay..." he says, and checks on the the others, flying over to Cassandra to save her from the crazy, visibly ready to carry her off somewhere that should get her away from both of her tails, at least for the time being. Cassandra Cain moves Wade's butt nearer to his torso before we end though. Ew.